lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:35): hello everyone!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:35): Egads, I got booted
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:35): Hi Lisa.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:35): hit the wrong button
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:35): Good to have you here.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:36): Let's all post our links
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:36): Hate when that happens.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:36): and came back orange.....
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:36): I call it Bust-A-Link
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:36): http://www.MentoringwithDenise.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:36): yupper, the WINning Sister orange
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:36): :D
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:36): http://www.DocUmeantDesigns.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:36): http://www.DocUmeant.net
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:36): http://www.lisafredette.com
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:37): www.saferforyourhome.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:37): http://www.NibrocMarketingSolutions.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:37): Has everyone visited the WINning Sisters website?
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:37): http://www.passionateaboutspeaking.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:37): LISA! That is too cool! I'll have to check that link out for sure!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:38): http://www.WINningSisters.org
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:38): In case you didn't know we moved to .org
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:38): http://www.tfmbook.com
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:38): http://www.salesletterebook.com
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:39): thanks for the new link to winning sisters, the one I had bookmarked didn't work
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:39): anyone ever hear of compio.net?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:39): I will be archiving this chat so if you miss something you will find it on the group website.
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:39): not I
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:39): You're very welcome Lisa
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:39): thanks...
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:39): It was a chore changing all the links I had out there too. :D
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:39): Nope, Beth
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:40): Ladies, are you ready to get started?
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:40): Ginger - I just replied to your PM on ryze.
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:40): Let's rock and roll!
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:41): yup.. lets get this party started!!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:42): I am thrilled that Denise Michaels has joined us today
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:42): For over two decades, Denise Michaels has been a successful marketer, dynamic speaker, trainer and marketing mentor. Michaels is a keen observer of the Mars/Venus marketing differences between the sexes. She’s and authored the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing: The Yin and Yang of Marketing for Women." Discover Denise at smartprotege@msn.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:42): Let's welcome her to Networking 101
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:42): Okay, thanks Ginger.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:43): Densie the floor is yours
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:43): Good to be here.
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:43): Welcome Denise - love your book!!!!
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:43): welcome Denise, thanks for coming today
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:43): Thanks Ginger. Thanks Beth.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:43): Well, most of the people here know me from ryze. Though I think Beth's name is new to me.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:44): All of us are business owners and all of us have a desire to be successful with those businesses.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:44): And what I've found is one thing that successful business owners have in common is self confidence.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:44): Yet it's amazing...
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:45): some of us are confident in some facets of our lives - but not in others.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:45): isnt that the truth
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:45): What I discovered - which led me to write my book - is that most women - when it comes to marketing and selling in their business...
(2008/02/13 - 12:46): Judilynn joined the room
(2008/02/13 - 12:46): Judilynn left the room
(2008/02/13 - 12:46): Judilynn joined the room
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:46): don't just lack the actual skills to do it. But they also lack the confidence in themselves to do it.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:46): Hi Judilynn...
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:46): So, this is all about recognizing the truth of that - and also coming up with some ways to turn it around.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:47): Does that make sense?
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 12:47): hello all
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:47): hi
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:47): Hi Judilynn...
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:47): Yes - totally
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:47): yup
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:47): Beth - can you give me an example?
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:48): Or anyone else.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:49): I want to grow my business.. I have goals to do it, but when it comes down to picking up the phone and making my calls, my fear of rejection is so high, I end up procastinating
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:49): Sure - that's a very common one. Thanks for acknowledging that.
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:49): I know for me the when I first started my business it was a big struggle believing that I had something worthwhile to offer - I figured if I knew it, it must not be too significant. That is where the lack of confidence came in!
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:50): So what I want to share with you is really kind of revolutionaly - because it's not the same old - get over it stuff you usually hear.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:50): great!
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:50): Thanks, Lisa. Okay - let's all start on the same page.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:50): Men and women are different, right?
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:50): absolutely
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:50): right
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:50): Sales and marketing is all about...
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:50): communications
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:50): building relationships
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:51): and solving problems.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:51): And yet men and women do all three differently.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:51): And if you read a book or listen to a tape or go to a seminar about sales and marketing - typically they're coming from a masculine point of view.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:52): Men are conditioned and taught very differently than we are.
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:52): right!
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:52): We are taught
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:52): don't toot your own horn
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:52): Be a nice girl
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:52): Let everyone else go first.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:52): let the man take the lead...
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:52): And for goodness sakes - don't call the boy!
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:53): Exactly - and yet in business we're told WE have to take the lead.
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:53): exactly
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:53): I like being in charge!
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:53): So, we're told that to be sucessful we basically have to be un-feminine.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:53): We have to be a barracuda, a brazen hussy or a b*tch.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:53): I like being in charge, too, Lisa.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:54): But I still don't love picking up the phone and calling. And yet - I've gotten over my fear and I do it.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:54): I don't mind asking a closing question - without worrying about "will they think I'm being pushy."
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:54): Here's why.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:55): The behaviors we were taught are perfect for being a wife and a mother.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:55): Not so hot for being a business owner.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:55): Being a business owner requires being more assertive. It requires taking the lead.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:56): And that's going to be uncomfortable to most of us at first because we weren't trained that way - and so we interpret it as "there must be something wrong with me." Not so - you're responding to the way you were brought up as a girl.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:57): Does any of this make sense to y'all?
lfredette (2008/02/13 - 12:57): yes.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:57): absolutely
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:57): def
(2008/02/13 - 12:57): lfredette left the room
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 12:57): sure does
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:57): So, growing in confidence in your business means that it's time to feel good about being more assertive. Rather than feeling like there's something wrong - but you don't know what.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:58): I have to go..dentist appointment. Denise, thank you so much for this. I'll read the rest when I get home.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 12:58): thank you for coming, Beth
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:58): Thanks for being here, Beth.
Beth_Linker (2008/02/13 - 12:58): bye ladies..
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 12:59): bye Beth
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:59): Julilynn - tell me about you and your business and confidence. Where does it come in for you?
(2008/02/13 - 12:59): Beth_Linker left the room
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 12:59): Where do you tend to hold back?
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 12:59): I am a freelance writer. And when it comes to putting myself out there, I have 0 confidence lol
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:00): Okay - what happens when you have to put yourself out there?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:00): what is your URL Judi
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:00): How do you feel? What do you do?
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:00): I can approach people I know need a writer, but just the casual, Hey you could really need this written, I feel like I am treading on toes
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:00): Ahhhhh.... okay.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:01): But what if you're not treading on toes.
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:01): I've passed on some opportunities, because I just didn't speak up
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:01): You'll never know unless you ask, right?
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:01): And in business it's APPROPRIATE for you to ask.
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:01): exactly, it's just hard to do
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:01): If you want to hold back in your personal life. That's fine.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:02): Okay - what do you find difficult about it, personally?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:02): When I go to a live networking event, I have to force myself not to sit down
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:02): What thoughts are going on in your head?
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:03): I have to force myself not to turn around and walk back out the door. Because when I go to an event I immediately feel like I don't want to talk with anyone.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:03): I always go in the the ladies room - check my lipstick and hair and then smile and say, "SHowtime FOLKS!" and go in the room.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:03): If I approach someone I don't know, they may think me an unwated interruption at least or pushy at worst
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:03): Getting yourself out there in a way is a little like show business.
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:04): I think I can understand that one. Maybe a basic shyness and the fact I don't like to tell people that I can do it, and do it the best.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:04): Okay - that's possible, Ginger. But not probably.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:04): Because everyone is there for the same purpose.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:04): Here's the thing. You have a right to be there. Because you're a human being and a business owner.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:05): I think a lot of women feel like we really have to PROVE something to be entitled to be there - and we don't.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:05): We need to increase our own feelings of "entitlement."
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:05): And that comes from believing in yourself. And believing in what you have to offer.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:06): self-confidence, easy to type not to do
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:06): very true, I know I lack in that area
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:06): Well, a lot of times you hear "fake it till you make it." Except I don't believe that works very well for women. Because we're not fake. We're about being real and authentic.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:07): Try this instead - "Practise the Future."
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:07): huh?
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:07): What that means is when you're in public practise acting as if you already are that successful person you wrote about in your goals.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:07): Step into that persona..
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:08): Stand a little taller. Maintain eye contact a little longer. Act as if "you've arrived." Rather than acting as if you're struggling and you have to work extra hard just to fit in.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:09): Let's face it. If you're at a networking meeting - no one is going to throw you out.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:09): good point, Denise
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:09): It works.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:09): I like your "Show time"
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:10): more of an acting job, rather than a writing one
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:10): See, a lot of times as women we're waiting for other people to give us permission to be successful. Like we're waiting for approval. The truth is the only person who has to give us approval is ourselves.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:10): That's right, Judilynn.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:10): When we claim it for ourselves - others will stand up and say, "Woah, she's really impressive."
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:11): Assume you've already made it and are the expert and people will accept you as such.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:11): It's all about "Practise the future" and "act as if."
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:11): Yes, you betcha.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:11): No one is going to give it to you on a silver platter. You have to give it to yourself.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:12): If you keep waiting for someone to tap you on the shoulder and say "you've arrived" it's never going to happen. Only you can do it for yourself.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:12): You have to CHOOSE to stand a little taller. You have to CHOOSE to ask if someone needs that proposal or article written.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:13): And yet as girls we were taught to wait for people to give us permission.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:13): It just doesn't work that way in business.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:13): Does this make sense to you? Does it help at all?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:13): y
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:14): it does make a lot of sense
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:14): All of us have businesses where we provide a professional service.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:15): this is a small group this morning. No MLMers it looks like.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:15): So that means that we set the pricing for what we do.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:15): And that brings me to another point.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:15): Most women undercharge for what they do.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:16): I'm guilty as #%* there
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:16): Yeah - I had a feeling about that. *smile*
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:16): Here's why -
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:16): I am too, though I do charge what other women do, but saw how much someone else does (male) and was floored
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:16): Good, I'm glad to hear that, Lisa.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:17): Yes, that happens, Judilynn. And men are usually floored when they see how little we charge.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:17): Here's why...
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:17): We often will say that we're undercharging because we want to be nice.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:18): But what it really boils down to is that we're sooooooo uncomfortable with the marketing and selling part and our level of entitlement that we'll undercharge hoping that it will make it easier to get business.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:18): We end up being overworked and undercharged and it's VERY difficult to upgrade to those client who pay full price.
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:19): oh that's definitely me
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:19): The truth is that when we undercharge most people don't think it's because we're being nice.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:19): Especially the ones who really value the kind of work we do.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:20): Instead they think, "Gee, she must not be that good. Otherwise she'd charge what others charge.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:20): And busy professionals really don't want to put a lot of time or any money into someone who isn't going to be able to handle the work.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:21): My problem is the competition is so low and my product is so much better that I have to offer more for less in order to compete
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:21): We really need to increase our confidence and sense of entitlement (that means give yourself permission) and start charging fair rates rather than rates that are ripping us off.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:22): Ginger - that's because the universe of people you're playing with believe in much lower prices. Play in a different universe and they'll have a whole different idea about prices.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:22): right, it is just finding them. :D
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:23): You have to improve your attitude of entitlement and your marketing message to appeal to them and then they'll start to appear.
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:23): were mine is very competitive. there are so many writers or wanna be writers out there
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:24): Right now you're boxing yourself into a belief that it's not possible. And yet there are people out there who do what you do and who have plenty of work and who charge double, triple what you probably charge.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:24): love the wannabes.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:25):
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:25): I had to learn to let go of their pricing and define my own
(2008/02/13 - 13:25): DeniseMM left the room
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:25): oopsy, we lost Denise
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:25): looks like her finger slipped
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:25): I guess we did
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:25): or her connection pooed out
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:25): I am learning a lot
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:25): how about you?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:26): What is your URL?
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:26): what is it that you do Ginger? I missed the begining
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:26): I am learning a lot. I declared this is the year I will put myself out there
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:26): I am a marketing pieces provider, graphic and words both.
(2008/02/13 - 13:26): DeniseMM joined the room
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:26): WB Denise
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:26): URL: http://www.DocUmeant.net http://www.DocUmeantDesigns.com
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:26): Ladies, I'm sorry. Don't know what happened. I got thrown out.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:27): wb Denise
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:27): I was typing a reply to Judilynn.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:27): Sometimes my finger accidently hits a key that knocks me out
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:27): mine is http://judithldavis.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:27): that's what happened to me earlier
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:27): glad it was that and not your internet connection. You made it back quickly
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:27): You have to figure out what it is about doing business with you that's so unique and so great that you don't even fall in the same category as all those other writers.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:28): Yes, thank goodness.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:28): Anyway - has this been helpful today?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:28): what type of writing do you do Judi?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:28): absolutely Denise!
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:28): Very helpful!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:28): Thank you so much
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:29): I write content for websites mainly, blogs, newsletters and such
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:29): for being her today
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:29): what type?
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:29): This is just barely scratching the surface of the info in my book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" You can find it at http://www.tfmbook.com
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:29): And to find out about marketing mentoring check out http://www.MentoringwithDenise.com
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:29): http://www.MentoringwithDenise.com
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:29): Thanks Lisa. I appreciate that.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:30): Any last minute questions before we wrap up?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:30): Where can we find your book?
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:30): lol
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:30): see above Ginger. :D
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:30): Go to http://www.tfmbook.com and I'll get a personally autographed copy to you.
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:30): I can't think of one now, but know in 10 minutes I will have a ton of them
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:31): And there are some great bonuses, too. One a great workbook on self-confidence.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:31): Of course.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:31): that sounds like exactly what we both need
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:31): Well, thank you so much for having me as your guest today.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:31): I've really enjoyed it.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:31): Thank YOU!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:31): It's been great!
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:31): Take care - and be happy!!!!!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:31): I hope you will come back next week for Open Forum
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:31): Thanks so much for all that you shared. I really got a lot out of it. Sorry I was late
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:32): Judilynn, if you have a question later you can reach me on ryze or at mentoringwithdenise@hotmail.com
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:32): If you have any suggestions on topics you would like to see presented let me know by contacting me at founder @ winningsisters.org
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:32): Perfect Denise
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:32): Enjoy your NYC shopping trip
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:33): Thanks, I may take you up on that
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:33): Thank you for coming. See you all next week.
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:33): *clapping*
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:33): Yep - I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be cold. Gotta pack long johns.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:33): Thanks. Thanks so much.
DeniseMM (2008/02/13 - 13:34): Byeeeeee!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:34): bye all
Judilynn (2008/02/13 - 13:34): Bye everyone!
gmarks (2008/02/13 - 13:34): have a terrific week